Solitude

A big thing that motherhood and having five children around me has taught me is to value 'me time'; to relish solitude since it is something I get so rarely. It seems such a beautiful luxury when there is no sound at all in the house, when the older children are at school and the younger ones sleeping or if it is late in the evening and everyone sleeping.

Remember how the messenger of Allah ( صلى الله عليه و سلم ) used to retire to the cave of hira for a time of solitude and reflection:

A'isha, the wife of the Apostle of Allah ( صلى الله عليه و سلم ), reported: The first (form) with which was started the revelation to the Messenger of Allah was the true vision in sleep. And he did not see any vision but it came like the bright gleam of dawn. Thenceforth solitude became dear to him and he used to seclude himself in the cave of Hira' [...] (Bukhari, Book 001, Number 0301)

Ibn Taymiyyah, Allah yarhamahu, once said:

"What can my enemies do to me? My Paradise is in my heart. Wherever I go it is with me. My murder is martyrdom. My Imprisonment is solitude with
Allah. And my exile is tourism."

and:

"At times, it is necessary for the worshipper to be isolated from others in order to pray, remember Allah, recite the Qur'an and evaluate himself and his deeds. Also isolation allows one to supplicate, seek forgiveness, stay away from evil and so on."

Do you enjoy your own company? Do you take advantage of your moments of solitude?

Time to reflect...

5 minute meals

Pasta: so quick, easy and versatile.

My three girls all wanted different 'sauces' with their pasta today but it was very quick and easy. Here are three simple things to do with pasta.

• Boil pasta in salted water.






• Meanwhile to make a tomato sauce, quickly fry 1 grated clove of garlic in a small pan, add half a can of chopped tomatoes, a sprinkle of sea salt, and some dried herbs. I used a little crushed bayleaf, Pasta seasoning and dried crushed basil.






• Chop up 50g mortadella into tiny cubes.






• Grate 50g cheddar cheese.

Version #1 was pasta mixed into the tomato sauce with some cubes of mortadella added and then cheese sprinkled over the top.

Version #2 was pasta mixed into the tomato sauce with a little grated cheese sprinkled over.

Version #3 was pasta with a cheese triangle melted and a splash of water to help the cheese melt, the remaining cubes of mortadella stirred through and a generous helping of grated cheese over the top.

Later when my son woke up hungry, version #4 was pasta with a small knob of margarine, cubed mortadella - reheated in the microwave and then grated cheese sprinkled over - that was a 2 minute meal!

What could be simpler?!

What's in a name?

I have been Muslim for about 16 years and changing my name is something I have always been in two minds about. I was just a teenager when I accepted Islam and at the time it never occurred to me to change my name but over the years, meeting other convert sisters some of whom have changed their name it is something I have often thought about.

The reasons I did not change my name were:

• When I first accepted Islam it didn't occur to me
• I wanted to keep the name my mother chose for me out of respect to her
• I felt being outwardly Muslim, i.e. wearing hijab, yet having a very obviously Western name would be a good way of showing non-Muslims that Islam is not just for Arabs and Asians
• Keeping in mind that my name doesn't have any unislamic undertones, I didn't feel it was necessary to change my name to a 'foreign' name.

As mentioned though, the topic of name changing is one I mull over from time to time with the occasional sense of regret and I wonder if having a muslim name would give me a feeling of a stronger Islamic identity.

I say muslim name rather than Arabic name since I don't see the point in changing ones name from some perfectly acceptable non-muslim name to something like Jamilah (which means beautiful) or Wardah (which means Rose).

I found a few hadith relating to the subject and it seems that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم) only changed new Muslim's names when they had an objectionable meaning or a meaning unbecoming to the person. An objectionable name could be an unislamic name such as Shaytan (Satan) or Abdul Shaytan (Servant of Satan), a name that implies that person has bad qualities such as Al-Munba'ith (one who lies), a name which is for Allah alone such as Malik Al-Mulook (King of Kings) or a name that gives a person too much prestige such as Barrah (piety).

Narrated AbudDarda': The Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم) said: On the Day of Resurrection you will be called by your names and by your father's names, so give yourselves good names. (Sunan Abu Dawud: Book 41; number 4930)

Narrated AbuWahb, Hazn ibn AbuWahb: The Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم) asked: What is your name? He replied: Hazn (rugged). He said: You are Sahl (smooth). He said: No, smooth is trodden upon and disgraced. Sa'id said: I then thought that ruggedness would remain among us after it. AbuDawud said: The Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم) changed the names al-'As, Aziz, Atalah, Shaytan, al-Hakam, Ghurab, Hubab, and Shihab and called him Hisham. He changed the name Harb (war) and called him Silm (peace). He changed the name al-Munba'ith (one who lies) and called him al-Mudtaji' (one who stands up). He changed the name of a land Afrah (barren) and called it Khadrah (green). He changed the name Shi'b ad-Dalalah (the mountain path of a stray), the name of a mountain path and called it Shi'b al-Huda (mountain path of guidance). He changed the name Banu az-Zinyah (children of fornication) and called them Banu ar-Rushdah (children of those who are on the right path), and changed the name Banu Mughwiyah (children of a woman who allures and goes astray), and called them Banu Rushdah (children of a woman who is on the right path). AbuDawud said: I omitted the chains of these for the sake of brevity. (Sunan Abu Dawud: Book 41; Number 4938)

Narrated Al-Musaiyab: That his father (Hazn bin Wahb) went to the Prophet and the Prophet asked (him), "What is your name?" He replied, "My name is Hazn." The Prophet said, "You are Sahl." Hazn said, "I will not change the name with which my father has named me." Ibn Al-Musaiyab added: We have had roughness (in character) ever since. (Bukhari: Volume 8, Book 73, Number 209)

Narrated Abu Huraira: Zainab's original name was "Barrah," but it was said' "By that she is giving herself the prestige of piety." So the Prophet changed her name to Zainab. (Bukhari, Volume 8, Book 73, Number 212)

I'd like to ask those reading this who are also converts to Islam (or reverts if you refer that term), did you change your name? If yes, why? If no, why not? Do you have any regrets about changing or not changing your name? Do you think you gained anything from changing your name?

Taking a bath on Fridays - hadith

About taking a bath on Friday before Jumu'uah prayer:

Narrated Abu Said Al-Khudri: Allah's Apostle said, "The taking of a bath on Friday is compulsory for every Muslim who has attained the age of puberty." (Bukhari: Volume 2, Book 13, Number 20:)

Narrated Abu Huraira that the Prophet said, "It is Allah's right on every Muslim that he should take a bath (at least) once in seven days." (Bukhari: Volume 2, Book 13, Number 21)

Narrated Aisha: (the wife of the Prophet) The people used to come from their abodes and from Al-'Awali (i.e. outskirts of Medina up to a distance of four miles or more from Medina). They used to pass through dust and used to be drenched with sweat and covered with dust; so sweat used to trickle from them. One of them came to Allah's Apostle who was in my house. The Prophet said to him, "I wish that you keep yourself clean on this day of yours (i.e. take a bath)." (Bukhari: Volume 2, Book 13, Number 25)

Narrated Yahya bin Said: I asked 'Amra about taking a bath on Fridays. She replied, " Aisha said, 'The people used to work (for their livelihood) and whenever they went for the Jumua prayer, they used to go to the mosque in the same shape as they had been in work. So they were asked to take a bath on Friday.' " (Bukhari: Volume 2, Book 13, Number 26)

What can you do in 5 minutes?

A few random things that only take 5 minutes. What other suggestions do you have?

• Pray 2 rak'at nafl at any time of the day or night






• Read a page or two from the Qur'an in Arabic or your mother tongue






• Take 5 minutes out from a hectic day putting your feet up and enjoying a cup of tea






• Something that worked for me this week: the bedroom dd10 and dd7 share was m-e-s-s-y and they made no headway on the tidying, I was only hearing whinging. Soooo, I set the timer for 5 minutes and told them to tidy intensively for just 5 minutes and see how much they could do. The bedroom was almost tidy by the time the alarm sounded. 5 minutes well used.






• Make some silent dhikr






• Cyclone clean one room; pick up any things on the floor, quickly dust surfaces, spray some air freshener, plump up the cushions.






• Email a friend you haven't been in contact with for a while






• Read a short story to your child






• Recite As-Salat An Nabi: A person who calls for blessings on me once, Allah sends down mercies on him ten times, ten of his sins will be remitted and he is raised ten degrees.

We often complain that we don't have enough time in the day but there are so many things that require a mere 5 minutes.